04.27.06
Restoring Modern “Art”
On RationalArtBlog, Sara wonders how the shoddy craftsmanship demonstrated in many “modern art” pieces will affect their long term monetary value. Expensive restoration may help but, with some pieces, it’s simply not an option. (The Pollock above showed signs of deterioration only ten years after it was completed. In terms of modern art, that’s longevity.)
Fortunately, there is a way to maintain the value of your investment. As a gesture of goodwill to my readers who like this stuff, I will share it. The solution is simple: Make another one! After all, it’s not like you’re copying the Mona Lisa. Just try it. With a little practice, you’ll be glueing dead birds and bubble gum wrappers to a canvas with the best of them.
Even Pollock’s paintings can be easily reproduced. (I should know. My Pollock imitation was the best in the class.) Once cracks start to form on your 10 million dollar ”Number 2, 1949,” just whip out your paints and brushes (drippers?). In a few days you will have a new one and no one will know the difference (trust me, they won’t). If you’re lazy, just have your kids do the painting for you.
Don’t worry about trying to sell it. These people only buy art so they can act sophisticated at dinner parties. In fact, if you tell your buyer the piece isn’t original, he probably won’t care. It will only matter to him that everyone else think it is.
Some pieces will be more difficult to duplicate than others.
capitalist_pig said,
April 27, 2006 at 8:32 pm
Amen.
capitalist_pig said,
April 27, 2006 at 8:37 pm
By the way, my Pollock was better; your colors sucked.
Administrator said,
April 28, 2006 at 7:28 am
Maybe this is why they like modern art: it can never be objectively judged. BTW, mine was still better. Your thin lines spoke of indecision and terror.